Learning Disability Challenged

YOU ARE SUPERHEROES!!

I am a mom to two rambunctious deviant little Millennials (ok, not so little, one is 17, and the other is 13 going on to 30). I guess being a part of Generation Y, they fit the profile to a T. My tech-savvy 13-year-old would put my technological know-how to shame. He is only too happy to let me know that I am technologically disadvantaged (his words, not mine).
That is ok. Little does my Mr know-it-all realize that I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve. My children like to think they have one over me. Ignorant bliss on their part, I guess.

I have to admit that the little gremlins turn into monsters when their internet access is restricted. I also believed that I was good at the blackmail game; my children, on the other hand, are savants in that department, but they cannot always outsmart me. I take pleasure in controlling their social media accounts and their internet access. (😈).
I am not ashamed to pull rank on them. It gives me immense amounts of pleasure.

It amazes me at times the amount of knowledge they have. Not only about life and technology but also about controversial topics. They are social media savvy and very connected. They can hold their own when having an intellectual conversation. I have to say the most annoying downside is their low attention span and their sometimes-rebellious behavior. Not to mention the anti-social tendencies they have adopted. They are forever attached to their phones or computers.

Being born in this generation has its advantages. While the cons are many, the pros outweigh them in my case. The internet, and endless online learning materials, have aided my child with a learning disability immensely. He has gained a lot of confidence. He found something he is good at, and that makes his learning more fun and manageable.

Raising a child is hard but raising a child with disabilities is on a whole new level. Whether it is :

• Vision Impairment
• Deaf/hard of hearing
• Mental health conditions
• Intellectual disability
• Acquired brain injury
• Autism spectrum disorder
• Physical disability.

It doesn’t matter what the disability is; we are all affected one way or the other. In my case, we fall under intellectual disability. My son is 17 now. He was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and Dyslexia. He still cannot read.<img class=”size-medium wp-image-352 alignright” src=”https://zenkofox.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/ADHD-3-200×300.jpeg” alt=”” width=”200″ height=”300″ />

Our journey has been a long and hard one. My son had his first diagnosis at the age of five. I utilized all avenues possible. I had him seen by a clinical psychologist, school psychologist, occupational therapist, and speech and language therapists.

I later took him for brain mapping and scanning and ear and eye test. He spent a lot of his earlier days in therapy.

His doctors prescribed Ritalin and other medications (which I was against since I am anti-medicating my children). However, with much consideration and a lot of research done, I did give it a try. I even tried the holistic approach.

He has been to a Montessori school, mainstream school, and four special needs schools. His struggle in school has been heart-breaking to watch. Not only did he battle with academics, but he also had to deal with bullying and a lot of negative behavior from some of his teachers. It is sad to say, but our educational system failed him. He had fallen through the cracks. There were a whole host of things we had to confront.

I stopped his medication because he stopped eating and sleeping. He would wake up after a short nap, and I would find him pacing his room and talking to himself. I watched him experience anger, stress, embarrassment, shame, aggression, guilt, low self-esteem, isolation, and insecurity. As he became older, I also became worried about peer pressure (because I felt he would do anything to fit in). I also worried about other things he could get involved in, like criminal activities, substance abuse, and becoming sexually active. I decided to change our circumstances and do something about it myself.

<em><strong>PLAN OF ACTION</strong></em>

• I had him legally removed from school.
• I threw out all his learning materials.
• I got him a phone and a laptop.
• I started with the basics. I began by teaching my son the alphabet and phonics.
• One word picture books. ( To identify pictures with words).
• We made learning rhyming words fun by singing and dancing.
• I got him into audiobooks( as an alternative to reading).
• I taught him how to type on a computer instead of writing.
• He is very artistic. I got the software installed to help his creativity.
• I got him WhatsApp, and I message him simple things like hi and how are you. I also ask other family members to message him.
• He loves to cook. I make sure to teach him while also repeating the ingredients and spelling out the words for him.
• I read to him. He loves story time with mum.
• I do print on demand for T-shirts and accessories. I involve him in the design process. His creativity and acute eye for detail astound me.
<img class=”size-medium wp-image-353 alignleft” src=”https://zenkofox.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/ADHD-4-200×300.jpeg” alt=”” width=”200″ height=”300″ />

<em><strong>BE AN ADVOCATE FOR YOUR CHILDREN</strong></em>

Never be ashamed to ask for help. Ask questions. Their learning disability is not a disease but a condition. Be a proactive parent.

Be firm but also calm. Give your children emotional and moral support. Find avenues for your child to grow

<em><strong>BECOME YOUR OWN EXPERT</strong></em>

Research, Research, Research!! I have to stress that point. Knowledge gives you power. Keep up with anything new coming up that would help your child. Seek advice from professionals in that field. You are your child’s best expert. Take charge in keeping yourself informed.

<em><strong>BE A POSITIVE INFLUENCE</strong></em>

Your children lead by your example. When you approach things optimistically and adopt a practice of hard work, determination, and a never-quit attitude, your children will follow. Focus on what works for your child and what is always best in their interests.

<em><strong>FOCUS ON THEIR STRENGTHS AND NOT THEIR WEAKNESSES</strong></em>

I never define my child by his disability. My son’s learning disability only represents a part of him. There are many strengths he has. I choose to encourage and explore his gifts and talents. I always make plenty of time for him as well as his learning.

<em><strong>NEVER LET YOUR CHILD FEEL OVERSHADOWED</strong></em>

I noticed that my son feels inadequate around his brother, who is younger than him. His brother is a straight-A student in school and an overachiever in all extracurricular activities. I never praise or pick one over the other. I teach them that all their accomplishments would be acknowledged and rewarded appropriately. I also encourage them to work and play together.

<em><strong>THINK LIFE SUCCESS, NOT SCHOOL SUCCESS</strong></em>

This piece of advice is a bit tricky. Success means different things to different people. We all hope that our children will grow up having fulfilling jobs and satisfying relationships.

In my case, I don’t have high expectations for him. That does not mean that I  think he will not make something of himself. I honestly believe that anything is possible if you put your heart, mind, and soul into it. I  don’t push him to be something he is not. I only want him to be a functioning and happy adult with successful and meaningful relationships. To go out into this world brave, confident, and strong. He does not have to be an academic ace, but he can be an inspiring artist or a famous chef. His possibilities are endless. I teach him not to let his disability define who he is and what he can become.<img class=”size-medium wp-image-354 alignright” src=”https://zenkofox.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/ADHD-1-200×300.jpeg” alt=”” width=”200″ height=”300″ />

Raising children with disabilities is very hard and stressful.

It is an ongoing learning experience.

It takes love, patience, and a gentle hand. It takes strength and perseverance and a whole lot of determination and hard work.

Be our children’s cheerleaders.

They are our superheroes.

They teach us what real strength is.

I would like to hear your thoughts.

What would you do if you were in my situation?

If you have a child with disabilities, how do you cope?

What advice would you give me?

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